i don't plan on having that self control this summer
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
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During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
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Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
These tits shall not be calmed
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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