:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
