history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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