yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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