I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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