thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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