writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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