i always forget guys have bellybuttons
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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