I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
