He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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