the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
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