New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
