I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize