Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
