I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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