There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
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