I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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