Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
