So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
