He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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