mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I know her cup size but not her name....
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