NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
