guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
