I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
