i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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