Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
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