Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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