it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
