I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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