I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
