So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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