A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
