wakey wakey hands off snakey
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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