this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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