Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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