Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
