fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
