But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
