Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
