We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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