508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
