Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(901): View more from Tennessee

why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?

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(901): why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it? http://tfl.nu/zj16

Replies (16) Good night (2277) Bad night (2304)
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(614): View more from Ohio

My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.

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(614): My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation. http://tfl.nu/2cc3

Replies (12) Good night (928) Bad night (5201)
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(231): View more from Michigan

I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you

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(231): I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you http://tfl.nu/n6kx

Replies (20) Good night (6307) Bad night (1041)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp

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(201): I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp http://tfl.nu/qhzj

Replies (32) Good night (5432) Bad night (1081)
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(712): View more from Iowa

Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.

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(712): Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be. http://tfl.nu/n7rl

Replies (8) Good night (6172) Bad night (1184)
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(214): View more from Texas

Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.

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(214): Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing. http://tfl.nu/4y7p

Replies (9) Good night (6246) Bad night (1365)
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(907): View more from Alaska

Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.

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(907): Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen. http://tfl.nu/l4cq

Replies (11) Good night (3523) Bad night (1081)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?

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(781): Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink? http://tfl.nu/6hyx

Replies (6) Good night (2301) Bad night (746)
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(817): View more from Texas

I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"

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(817): I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months" http://tfl.nu/023g

Replies (5) Good night (2359) Bad night (1033)
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(607): View more from New York

So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?

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(607): So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear? http://tfl.nu/a30u

Replies (4) Good night (1692) Bad night (508)
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(313): View more from Michigan

My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real

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(313): My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real http://tfl.nu/i6cc

Replies (3) Good night (927) Bad night (676)
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(563): View more from Iowa

I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.

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(563): I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took. http://tfl.nu/2cez

Replies (7) Good night (1347) Bad night (533)
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(951): View more from California

Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.

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(951): Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water. http://tfl.nu/p40v

Replies (5) Good night (1067) Bad night (437)
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(+61): View more from Australia

I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.

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(+61): I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night. http://tfl.nu/wtly

Replies (3) Good night (416) Bad night (676)
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(650): View more from California

future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.

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(650): future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture. http://tfl.nu/2m26

Replies (0) Good night (609) Bad night (278)

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