Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
did you just send me my own nude
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
