Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.