if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
23 People Confess The Trashiest Thing They’ve Seen In Person
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
19 Transgender People Reveal The First Sign That They Were Trans
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.