don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Randomize