I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
My penis needs a shock collar
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
