Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
