I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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