We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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