I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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