This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize