Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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