The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
