I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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