she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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