He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
