dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
the condom got lost in my hair
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
