Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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