New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
only if we run a train.
done.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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