He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
