WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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